What Secret Eating, Addiction, and Overthinking All Have in Common

You sneak the snack, scroll the feed, replay the conversation.
No one sees it, but it’s constant.

That subtle ache.
The quiet chaos of doing too much, thinking too hard, or reaching for something—anything—to fill a space you can’t quite name.

Whether it’s secret eating, compulsive behavior, or spiraling thoughts, these patterns are not just bad habits or lack of discipline.
They’re coping strategies.
They’re signals.
They’re symptoms of a deeper hunger.

A hunger that can’t be filled with food, control, or another checklist.
A spiritual hunger.

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When the Soul Feels Starved

In spiritual psychotherapy, there’s a concept known as the soul void—a sense of emptiness that isn’t mental illness or physical deficiency, but rather a disconnection from our essence. A disconnection from meaning, purpose, or presence.

Dr. Lisa Miller, Columbia University psychologist and author of The Awakened Brain, has shown in her fMRI research that the brains of people with strong spiritual lives actually function differently—displaying thicker cortex regions associated with emotional regulation, compassion, and resilience (Miller et al., 2019). She calls spirituality a protective factor against depression, anxiety, and even addictive tendencies.

Translation? When the soul is nourished, we’re less likely to chase false comforts. But when we’re spiritually starved, we’ll try to fill the void with anything we can grasp.

Why We Overthink, Binge, or Numb

These behaviors are rarely random. They’re attempts to soothe the unease of being unrooted in ourselves.

• Secret Eating may feel like rebellion, safety, or temporary comfort. It often emerges from shame—of wanting too much, feeling too much, or not being enough.
• Addiction—whether to substances, social media, or perfection—offers a momentary escape from the weight of being. It’s the brain’s way of grasping at dopamine when the heart feels empty.
• Overthinking gives the illusion of control. When the world feels uncertain or we don’t feel safe being still, the mind steps in to overanalyze, ruminate, and strategize as a form of protection.

But none of them address the root, because the root isn’t in the habit, it’s in the hole.

As Dr. Gabor Maté reminds us, the question is never, “Why the addiction?” but “Why the pain?”

Reconnecting to the Root: You Are Not Broken

What if the impulse to overeat, overthink, or overdo isn’t a flaw—but a flare signal from your soul?

From a psychospiritual lens, these patterns aren’t signs of weakness. They’re the psyche’s attempt to get your attention. To say:

“Something is missing.”
“I feel disconnected.”
“Please come home.”

This is not about self-blame. It’s about self-remembrance.

The Inner Pull to Return

You might not know what your soul is hungry for yet.
But you know what it’s not. It’s not the empty snack in the kitchen. Not the rabbit hole of self-doubt. Not the false high of overdoing, achieving, or fixing.

It’s peace, presence, and meaning.

You don’t need to find your soul... it’s never left. But you do need to learn how to listen again. And ritual is the listening.

3 Rituals to Reconnect with Your Soul (Instead of Numbing the Ache)

These are not cures. They’re invitations. Ways to return to yourself, gently, one breath at a time.

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1. The 5-Minute Soul Check-In
Put your hand on your heart. Ask:

“What am I really hungry for right now?”
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Often it’s not food or answers—it’s rest, connection, creativity, belonging, love, or expression.

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2. Sacred Substitution
Next time you feel the pull to scroll or snack, try a micro-practice instead:
→ Light a candle
→ Breathe into your belly
→ Place one hand on heart and ask it, "what do you need?"

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This helps retrain the nervous system to reach inward instead of outward.

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3. Name the Void (Without Trying to Fill It)
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Journal on this:

“When I feel empty, what do I fear will happen if I sit with it?” Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is not fill the space, but feel it.

The Bottom Line

Secret eating, addiction, and overthinking all mask a sacred truth:
You are not too much.
You are not broken.
You are not alone.

You are spiritually hungry—and hear a calling.

The calling to slow down. To soften. To listen inward. To befriend yourself.
Not to escape life, but to re-enter it and lead from soul instead of mind.

If you're not sure where to get started or want structure to support you through, Seekr rituals guide you back.

Because the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety. It’s connection.

Download the Seekr App and get your free rituals to get started.

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References

• Miller, L., et al. (2019). The neuroscience of spirituality: fMRI studies on cortical thickness and the awakened brain. Journal of Religion and Health. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00838-z
• Maté, G. (2010). In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Vintage Canada.
• Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In Perfectionism: Theory, Research, and Treatment. American Psychological Association.
• Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400–424. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1745-6924.2008.00088.x

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